The Tea Party
by littany
Summary: Ten year old James Potter and Sirius Black are forced to attend a certain tea party...just something fluffy, heh.


Ten-year old James Potter sat on a bench in his mother's elaborate garden, bored to death. His dad and stepmother, Jonathan and Diana Potter were content to stay inside, read the newspaper, knit, and other very common household activities. His stepbrother, Edmund, was upstairs, complacently reading a book. While James, too, enjoyed reading, he had done way too much of it over the course of the summer. He sighed again, plucking a petal from one of the posies, and then had a wonderful idea. Sirius!

"Dad! Diana! I'm going to Sirius'!" he announced, opening the front door. There was no answer. James groaned. This was one of the many disadvantages to living in a mansion: no one could ever hope to hear you if they were in a different room.

He dashed into the kitchen. No one. Dining room. Same. Living room. Not even the mice were stirring. James huffed impatiently. He had to look through the second living room, pantry, game room, formal dining room, and basement before finally finding them both in the lounge. He heaved a sigh of relief and ran up to his dad. "Dad…can I go to Sirius'?"

Jonathan Potter, who looked much like a larger version of his son but with darker eyes, frowned and looked over his newspaper at his son. "Weren't you there last week, James?"

"Well, yes," James answered, "but what do you expect, Dad? He's my best friend! And it's BORING here." 

Jonathan exchanged a look with James' stepmother Diana Potter; one James couldn't read. He often couldn't read the gray eyes of his stepmother, though. Jonathan sighed and put down the _Daily Prophet._ "All right, I suppose you can go."

James whooped. "Great! Uh," he nervously played with the fabric on the couch. "Can I go alone this time?" 

Diana burst in before Jonathan could answer. "Of course not, James! You're much too young! What if the Floo Powder goes wrong and you end up…. I don't know…in the middle of Antarctica!"

James rolled his eyes. "You let Ed go," he said, referring to his older stepbrother. 

"Yes, Ed is older than you," Diana said firmly. 

James looked over at Jonathan pleadingly. Jonathan shook his head. "Not this time, James. I'll accompany you." 

James sighed. "All right then. Step lightly, Dad. Let's go!"

Diana tossed a lock of her long dark brown hair behind her back and looked down at James' covered feet as the two walked through the doorway. "And remember next time to take off your shoes before you come in the house, James!"

~ * ~

Sirius Black was James' best friend. So it had been for a few years now. The two didn't actually live that far from each other; just over the hill and across the bridge to where the _normal_ (as James called them; they were actually small, cozy cottages) houses were. Not at all like the Barathrum, a.k.a. James' mansion. _Barathrum_ was Latin for "underworld, abyss" and James thought it was quite rightly named, for the mansion was simply too big to be allowed, and quite the pits. 

Sirius lived with his mother, Lyssa, and his three sisters, Arianna, Aileen and Melaina. His dad had died recently, when Sirius was eight, of disease. Sirius' sisters were five, seven and seven respectively, the latter two being fraternal twins. James often wondered how Sirius could live in a house so full of girls—once, he even brought it up to Sirius, who replied that he wondered the most of all how he survived. For the most part, though, Sirius' sisters, with the exception of little Arianna, left them alone while James was over. 

Jonathan rang the doorbell of Sirius' house and waited for an answer. There was a loud shriek, followed by an explosion of giggles. James raised an eyebrow, but then again…this was _Sirius'_ house they were in front of—strange, random noises were a usual occurrence.

Suddenly, the door flew open. Lyssa Black stood there in a white apron, looking a bit disheveled. "Oh, hello, James, Jon," she said, smiling at them. "What a coincidence…I'm sure Sirius will be happy to see you, dear," she continued, referring to James. 

James grinned. "Bye, Dad," he said, walking in.

"Cheerio, little Jimmy," Jonathan said, cheerfully. 

James blushed and looked annoyed. "I told you never to call me that, Dad!"

He laughed as James closed the door, sighing. James turned around, looking at Brittany. "So…where's Sirius?"

Brittany looked skeptical. "Well, I'm not sure, actually…I'm sure you'll find him somewhere. Excuse me, James, I must get to the kitchen…" She left the room. 

Suddenly, James heard the shriek again, and a tall, dark-haired boy ran in with a pink frilly dress hanging over the top of his head. _Sirius, of course, _James thought, smiling to himself. Suddenly, he blinked. _Wait a second…pink frilly dress?!?!?!?_

Sirius, however, seeing James, looked immediately grateful. "James, old buddy! It's you! Oh, dear…you don't know how glad I am to see you—" At this point, Sirius had ducked behind James' taller figure, clearly hiding. His voice dropped to a whisper as he added, "You have no idea what I've been through for the past five days…"

James looked over his shoulder, turning his head so he could look into Sirius' face. "What are you talking about? And what—" James eyed the pink dress skeptically, "is that?"

Just then, several little girls ran in, and Sirius yelped softly, as though in pain. "Don't move," he whimpered pleadingly. 

"Oh, Siiiii-rius," Golden-haired Aileen Black, who was leading the group of girls called. "Where are you?"

"Yeah," Melaina Black joined in, her dark tresses bouncing. "Where are you?" 

They both looked quite ridiculous, James noted, in fancy hats, frivolous pearls (most obviously fake) and frilly dresses. Four other little girls James didn't know, all of which clothed similarly, followed them. James blinked several times, still wondering what was going on. 

Suddenly, Aileen saw him standing there in the hall. She grinned, and James thought there was a bit too much of Sirius' usual mischievousness in that grin. "Oh, looook, girls…it's James." She suddenly burst into a fit of giggles. 

James heard Sirius cough quietly. The girls exchanged looks that frightened James very much. Melaina stepped forward and cocked her head at James. "So, Potter, you're here, huh?" James nodded dumbly and she clasped her hands together. "Great! You can join our tea party, too! As soon as we find Sirius—" She stopped abruptly and commenced the girls on a search of the room.

Sirius moaned and tried to move from behind James to behind the couch without being seen, but it was to no avail. A girl with red curls saw him and squealed. "There he is!" Sirius winced and tried to crawl for the front door. Red curls grabbed his legs, though, and Melaina blocked the door. 

"There's no escape," she sneered mercilessly. 

"How many times to we have to tell you," Aileen put in, "You can't get away from us, so don't even try!"

Sirius muttered a few words—most likely ones that weren't appropriate for little girls, James thought— and looked over at James. "Well, mate, I'm glad you're here, but I'll wager that _you_ won't be." 

"Why not?" James asked. It was not registering in his head at all.

Sirius stood up and took the dress off his head. "It's Aileen and Melania's eighth birthday, James. And…well, they're having a tea party."

"And since you're here now, you and Sirius can be more of our guests!" Aileen burst in. She walked up to Sirius, and although she was a little more than half his height, stared him down. "Put that back on, Sirius. You're supposed to be Mrs. Goldenrod, the old _sykai-trist_! And put it on right, this time." 

Sirius groaned. "I don't want to be Mrs. Goldenrod!" He yelled. "I'm not a psychiatrist! And I'm most definitely NOT a woman!"

Aileen exchanged another look with Melaina and they both sighed in unison. Melaina nodded at Aileen, and the latter suddenly shrieked very, very loudly. James covered his ears in shock, and Sirius looked devastated. 

Lyssa ran in, looking tired, and her apron was covered with flour stains. She wiped her wand on her apron as she looked over at Aileen, who was looking as pitiful as it was possible for an eight-year-old little girl to look. "What is it, Ail?"

Aileen let her lower lip tremble. "S-S-Sirius isn't playing with us, " she said, her voice trembling as if she was on the brink of tears. James had to admit that she was pretty good at pretending to be upset. Then again, most little girls were. 

Lyssa sighed and looked over at Sirius sternly. "Sirius Landen Black, what did I tell you this morning?" 

Sirius bit his lip. "You told me to mind my sisters, since it's their day, or whatever. But Mum, they—"

"And minding them means playing with them! So. Play. With. Them." She said firmly, glaring at her son. "Or. Else."

Sirius looked down at the floor, avoiding her eyes. "Yes, Mum," he whimpered. 

"Good." She looked at James. "You play with them, too, James…I'm sure you'll all have fun together." She smiled faintly and headed back into the kitchen. "I'll have the crumpets ready in a little while, girls."

Aileen smiled happily at Sirius. "There you are," she said. Sirius said nothing, defeated. "All right, then, Misses Marigold, Indigo, Saffron and Crimson—and who can forget my lovely sister, Miss Jade here," she chatted charmingly, smiling at Melaina. "Back upstairs! We must dress Mrs. Goldenrod…and attend to James, here…" she added softly, blushing a little. 

Melaina grabbed James' hand before he could protest. "Okay, James…now you are…Miss…Teal, I say. Yes. And you're a…a…book writer." Aileen looked like she was going to protest, but James talked first. 

"An author?" James supplied, narrowing his eyes at her. She nodded. "Wait a second, girls…you have to understand something…I…I don't…_do_ tea parties." 

He felt a hand on his shoulder. "James, mate, I don't _do_ them either. But we don't have a choice here," he said. He gestured to the six girls surrounding them. "They are the ma—mistresses now."

Melaina grinned. "And don't you forget it, Sirius Black!"

~ * ~ 

Minutes later, James was in the twins' room, fully dressed in a purple hat, gloves (a dark blue and a green one) and a yellow feathery boa. Melaina and Chelsea (the girl with red curls) would have given him a dress, too, but he flat out refused, and Aileen told them not to push it. Sirius had convinced the girls he did not need the dress, so now he only adorned a lacy white hat, a long necklace of fake pearls and a huge polka-dotted feminine sweater. But it was enough to earn sniggers from James. Sirius only answered them with a simple, "Look in the mirror, dearie," and after James saw himself, he quickly shut up. 

Arianna, the youngest chestnut-haired Black, was playing with the teacup set. The magical spoons kept on clobbering the teacups; they would not sit still. She herself also had a rather gaudy hat and an apron on, less dressed up than everyone else, something James thought she should be thankful for. 

"Why do _I_ have to serve?" She asked, annoyed, looking at Melaina, who was in front of the mirror, piling her hair around her head. 

Melaina looked annoyed. "I told you, Ari. You're too young to be part of the tea party. That's why you have to _serve_ us."

"You have _serve_ us." Arianna mimicked her and sighed. "Fine. This is all stupid, anyway. Why can't Sirius, James and I go outside and fly or something? We obviously aren't having any fun here!"

Aileen glared at her. "If you haven't forgotten, prat, it's our birthday, not yours, Arianna. And of course Sirius is having fun. Right?" 

Sirius nodded glumly and collapsed heavily on the table. James looked and Sirius and hissed, "Isn't there anyway we can escape this?"

"I'm afraid not, James. I've already tried, too many times. We'll just have to grit our teeth and bear it," he said.

"But this is so embarrassing!" James said, trying to take the boa off. "I look awful in this stuff!"

Sirius smiled for the first time that day. "Actually, you don't look all that bad, Mrs. Teal. Did anyone ever tell you that you should change your name to Lemon or something? Because yellow is _so _your color…"

"What about _you,_ Miss Goldenrod? White and lace looks very becoming on you, you know…" James shot back, a little too loudly. The girls giggled and James and Sirius fell embarrassedly silent.

James wondered why he had ever thought to come here in the first place. He had wanted a little excitement…but honestly! This was just mortifying! James Potter, outfitted for a little girl's tea party! Severus Snape would roll laughing if he knew. _Well, he won't know_, James decided firmly.

"Okay," Aileen said, straightening her hat and sitting down in one of the chairs. "It's time to start. Girls" she beckoned, "Places, please." She looked over at Sirius and James, then at the floor shyly. "You too, Sirius…James,"

James raised an eyebrow at Sirius, wondering what form of torture was next in store for them. The two walked out of the room and stood in the hall. It was one of those precious times where they could talk to each other without several little girls listening. 

"Sirius, I look ridiculous. Why don't we make a run for your room? Like…now?" James asked impatiently. 

Sirius shook his head. "They'll find us," he said in a very hopeless voice. "And it'll be even worse. Trust me, I've had to endure things like this for years."

James sighed. "Now I know why I don't have little sisters, and why I'm very glad I don't," he muttered. He looked at Sirius. "All right, fine, we'll do this. As long as you promise to never tell anyone about seeing me in feathers like this. And I'll promise not to tell anyone about you and that lacy hat."

Sirius nodded quickly. "Of course." They shook hands on it, and linked arms to dance around each other, a custom between the two. 

They talked of brighter things afterwards, in an effort to lighten their moods. Finally, Melaina stuck her head out and called them in. "Misses Goldenrod and Teal…we're waiting," 

James gulped. He and Sirius held hands as they walked to their inevitable doom. 

~ * ~ 

As it turned out, James and Sirius were overreacting, as usual. The tea party with the girls wasn't nearly as terrible as they had imagined. They only had to pretend to be interested in things like stuffed animals and the "latest" gossip of the town. And also, to have good manners, drink tea out of feisty cups that laughed at them every five seconds (Sirius nearly smashed one of them), and comment on stupid things like the color of someone's hat. And then, afterwards, they had to endure a photo session, still costumed as Mrs. Goldenrod and Mrs. Teal. Nothing too horrible, really. 

Seven years later…

"I warn you, Sirius Black, James Potter," Melaina Black, now 15 years old, said, smiling. "Do _not _make us angry."

Sirius laughed at his little sisters. "And _what_ exactly could you do to me? I'm two years older than you both; I'm stronger, smarter, and more talented. The same goes for old Prongsie, here."

James Potter grinned coyly, too. "Come on, girls, admit it. You really _are _in trouble this time."

The boys had found the twins had "accidently" broken one of the doorknobs, and of course, were attempting to make them feel horribly bad for it. 

Aileen Black glared at him, something Melaina was very surprised to see her do. "Oh yeah, Potter? Well, you know what, you're wrong. We have…" she looked over at Melaina and they exchanged an evil smile, "…pictures."

James lifted an eyebrow. "Pictures?" he asked, confused.

Melaina sidled up to the two older boys. "Yes, _pictures,_ " she said, looking at them both. "Pictures from a certain _tea _party. Pictures of a certain two ladies, Mrs. Goldenrod and Teal. I believe you are quite familiar with them?" She inquired innocently and snapped her fingers. James and Sirius' eyes widened with realization. 

Aileen ran into their dormitory and came back with a dusty envelope. She carefully opened it, and chose a particularly embarrassing shot of James and Sirius. "Remember this, boys?" She asked, shoving the picture in their faces. 

James and Sirius gawked at the picture. Sirius made a grab to snatch it from her, but she was faster than he was. "Nice try, you two. Now you see why you shouldn't tangle with us?"

Sirius' cheeks were red. "No," he said stubbornly. "Why shouldn't we?"

"Oh, you don't see, my dear brother?" Melaina said in mock astonishment. "Well then, I'll just have to see what your girlfriends have to say about these photos…oh, and while I'm at it…Snape…"

James' mouth opened in shock, again. "You wouldn't!"

"Wouldn't we?" Aileen and Melaina said in unison, a very twin-like thing they enjoyed doing often. 

Sirius and James didn't want to wait and see what if they would. They both lunged forward in a desperate attempt to get the photos. Soon, photos were flying all over the room with four people chasing after them. 

~* ~

Lily Evans, James' girlfriend and Sirius' current girl-of-the-month, Katrinka Summers walked in the common room several hours after the twins, James and Sirius' brawl in there. They were sitting on the couch, quizzing each other on the Goblin Revolution of 1798 when Lily suddenly felt something jab her skin from underneath her. "Hold on, Kat, I think I'm sitting on something," she said, getting up and looking at the seat. 

"What is it?" Katrinka asked curiously. 

"It's a….photo," Lily said slowly, bending over to pick it up. "Now what would a photo be doing here in the middle of the common room?" She asked, picking it up and turning it over. She gasped in surprise at what she saw, and then doubled over in a fit of chuckles. Katrinka stood up and peered over Lily's shoulder to see what could possibly be so funny. Soon, she was laughing, too. The two fell on the couch, laughing their heads off. 

The photo fell to the floor. In it, two young boys could be seen in gaudy hats, feathery boas, pearls, and other feminine things, smiling very forcedly. Around them were six little girls, grinning and looking as happy as could be.

The inscription read:

_James and Sirius a.k.a. Mrs. Teal and Goldenrod with us girls at our 8th birthday party. _

****

**EL FIN**

A/N: Just a funny little blurb I wrote one weekend. No plot whatsoever, ehehe. Please review! BTW, to anyone who hasn't seen it…Chamber of Secrets the movie rocks! Go see it! ^_^

Disclaimer: All the good stuff belongs to J.K. Rowling. I can only take credit for James' parents, his stepbrother, Sirius' mum and his sisters. Oh, and their friends and Katrinka, hehe. 

Updated: 30 May 2003


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